How to Be More Liked (or Even Loved): Pick Your Poison

Three paths, one truth—how far are you willing to go to be liked?

People like being liked. Some want to be loved. And a few poor souls want to be worshipped. But let’s not kid ourselves—there are historically three main ways to get there.

• Lie.
• Pay.
• Become a better person.

Most people don’t want to hear that. They’d rather believe in some magical “just be yourself” philosophy, which works if yourself is already charismatic, funny, talented, rich, or ridiculously attractive. If not? Well, welcome to the three-step program.

Option 1: Lie.

Ah, the classic. You could fabricate a more interesting version of yourself—one with a more tragic backstory, a more exciting career, or an effortless sense of mystery. People love a good narrative, even when it’s fake.

You can pretend to be richer, happier, or more enlightened than you really are. You can tell people what they want to hear, agree with things you don’t believe, and construct the ultimate social mask.

It works. Until it doesn’t. Lies have a nasty habit of collapsing, and the fallout is never elegant. People might like you for a while, but when the cracks show, they’ll despise you more than if you were just mediocre in the first place.

Option 2: Pay.

Money is the universal lubricant for social approval. You can literally buy friends (they call it “generosity”), buy admiration (they call it “success”), and buy love (they call it a “relationship”).

Throwing money at people works better than lying because, at least, it has a tangible benefit. People stick around as long as the cash flows. The issue? It’s transactional. You’ll never know if they actually like you or just like what you give them.

But maybe that doesn’t bother you. Perhaps you just want a rented fan club. Fine. That’s your call.

Option 3: Become a better person.

The most annoying option. The slowest one. The only one that actually lasts.

This requires honest self-awareness, change, and effort—three things most people avoid, like a high school reunion. It means improving your listening, reacting, and contributing to the world. It means offering something of value beyond your wallet or your mask. It means having actual substance.

It’s the least immediately rewarding path, but ironically, it’s also the one that leads to real connection. People respect growth. They’re drawn to authenticity. But growth takes time, and most people would rather just buy a round of drinks or fake their way through life.

So, you’re actually considering the "better person" route?

Fine. Buckle up. This isn’t some fluffy self-help spiel about "finding your best self." This is the gritty, uncomfortable work of shutting down that inner critic before it poisons every conversation, listening instead of waiting for your turn to talk and contributing something useful to the world.

Learn a skill. Develop some empathy. Stop being an emotional parasite.

People don’t respect surface-level transformations; they respect real effort. It’s slow. It’s frustrating. And it’s the only thing that makes you worth knowing in the long run.

Are there only three?

Maybe. Maybe not. You could try brute force, but that tends to land you in court. You could go full hermit and claim to not care what people think—but you’d be reading this article in a cave.

So yeah, we’re back to the big three.

Pick your method. Or mix and match. Just remember: The only one that doesn’t expire is the one that forces you to actually grow.